Wednesday, June 8, 2011

My inner self creeps out

It's been a tough 18 months. Marrying my Master, moving two time zones, becoming a full-time step-mother, supporting my husbands new business and increasing the demands of my own corporate position. Makes it tough to fall into a role of submission at the end of the day when you've been seriously conquering the world all day. Not to mention being tired.

That said, I can't help but be who I am. I feel the need to be submissive.

I look around me at the men on the flight and wonder how dominate they are.
- the man that gave me the drink ticket.. Not so much. Married. Early flurries. No, late thirties. Geekie.
- the man next to me. Divorced. Late forties. Handsome. Well dressed. Large strong hands. Checking out my bare legs in heels. Well, maybe, if he lives in town. His hands are powerful looking. Strong.

I imagine my husbands hands on me. My pulse quickens. I'm heading home after rocking the meeting today.

I exit the flight and survey the male population. Doesn't seem to show much promise of dominant men. Why is that? Has the liberation of women removed men's ability to openly put us in our place when it counts? Or is it more about men having the appearance of not being sexist? It must be tough as a man to figure out when to be powerful and when to be respectful.

Maybe I'm in the wrong place for this. Most of us here working or thinking about work or tied of working. Some just want to run home. Why? Is there a submissive at home? Or a shrew?

The man on the parking shuttle is in in his late 50's and he looks done. Looking like he wants to go home but only because he is suppose to. I want to ask him, are you the dominate in your household? Do you spanking your wife? Does it arouse you? Her? Even the driver. I want to ask him. Of all the men I've seen in the few hours, he seems the most likely to be aroused by the exchange of power.

But then again again, maybe it is all a front. The illusion of power. And what fun it is.