Friday, November 6, 2009

Flight Home

I am breathless with the thought of you. Despite the cool air vent on the flight, I am feverish. You are not physically near but I can feel the power of your grip on my delicate throat nonetheless. I swallow hard and encourage my body to relax and imagine you consuming me.

Behind closed lids, I see and feel your dark eyes penetrate me. Your heavy voice whispers in my head over the roar of the engines.

Anticipation fills me. I am overdue for your discipline. I await your touch.
My nipples stiffen at an imagine pinch.
A spank.
A bite.
Anything Sir.

I long to be the object of your attention. My pussy aches to feel your full cock recapture me.

I rush home to you.

And whatever you desire of me, Sir.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Silhouette

I lay wearily in the bed. I am exhausted body and soul from a week of too much change. However, we somehow have the house to ourselves on a Friday night. I'm so tired that all I want to do is find the sweet escape of sleep.

I feel the weight of your body on the bed announcing your presence and I am comforted. I soon feel your skin press against me and your warm breathe against the back of my neck.

“Pleasure me”

My mind reels. I want to move. I can’t move. I know that I need to obey but can not find the energy within.

“I’m waiting.” Your voice grows slightly darker and I try to explain.

“Sir, I, I….I’m so tired.” I’m almost crying. Already. I hate to fail you but I can’t find it in me. Life has worn me out this week. I'm tender in every way.

Wrong answer.

“You will obey me.”

You pull me up and out of the bed quickly. Dragging me over a single knee hastily, I scarcely know how I got here before you start.

After a few severe strokes, I am crying. I was close to tears already and now they spill out. You continue spanking me between harsh pinches along my thighs and breasts.

You pause. I try to catch my breathe.

You lean in closer and whisper, “You WILL obey me.”

Looking up, I see our reflection. The light in the hall is on with our bedroom lights off. We like the light in the mornings and so the blinds are up. The glass is a good reflector.

I see you, your silhouette leaning into me. My long hair hanging down.

You fiercely carry on with the punishment. My cheek presses against your arm and tears flow freely and continuously down my face and onto your skin. My eyes remain open though. I cannot look away from our image in the window.

I am hypnotized. The clear lines of our shapes burn into my brain. Throughout the spanking, I know that I will remember this view. Forever.

You repeat your demand, “Pleasure me”.

Tangling your fingers roughly in my hair, you push me down to my knees. I quickly take your hard cock in my mouth and work to satisfy you. I am soothed.

Your pinching continues on my arms, my breasts…testing me. I have failed. I am determined not to now.

Controlling my breathing, I work to please you as best I can. Tears still stream down my face as my tongue presses and pulses against the sensitive underside of your cock. I am rewarded with your moans.

Picking me up, you stand and thrust me face down on the bed. You quickly enter my weeping pussy. There is but one stern command for me now.

“You will NOT come.”

My head spins as my body shudders with your ferocious need. I revel in the knowledge that I have obeyed.

I obey you now, Sir.

I will always obey you, Sir.

Friday, July 24, 2009

A vacation repose


I am fortunate to have the attention of my Master as evidenced by his handiwork.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Pull

Pulling me along, I follow you into the house. After a week away, I eagerly follow you. I've been dreaming of the moment to show my adoration. Imagining your smell, your touch. Without I word, I follow you up the stairs to the place you've stop. I drop to my knees wanting to pull you, my Master, into my mouth. To show you how much I've missed you. How much I want to please you.

I hesitate, waiting for permission. It won't do for me to presume. I glance up at you, locking your eyes with mine. Your smile tells me that you are pleased but then, I am surprised when you quickly grab my hair and pull me up. The tug on my hair is painful but I feel my body response dually. I stand to get the pain to stop while feeling my pussy pulse with excitement. I catch my breathe while struggling to stay still and listen for your word.

"Off. Everything off." you sternly command.

You don't let go of my hair as I attempt to quickly disrobe while minimizing the pull on my hair. The cloth from your clothes feels foreign as I brush against you. I need to feel your skin on mine.

I've barely finished as you pull me along by my hair towards the bench. The furniture you made just for me. Just for us. I know this will be a long session. I would sigh with relief if I could think. You have obliterated all logical thought from my head.

I climb onto the bench, facing down with my elbows and knees supported on the shelfs. You make quick work of the ropes to hold me in place. Resting my cheek on the bench, I feel surprisingly relaxed as I await my fate. It is temporary.

While you disrobe, I feel a breeze on my pussy lips. I am exposed and I'm sure you will see my need plainly. I both fear and desire you to feel how damp I've gotten in such a short time. I sigh with relief as you brush your skin against mine. A rush of heat overcomes me.

You stand in front of me and I obediently part my lips to take you. As you push inside my mouth, you pull my head towards you with a tug on my hair. You tangle your fingers in my long blonde locks giving me the sensation I crave. Breathing deeply through my nose, I am engulfed with your scent. I am transported to a place where only your cock and my mouth exist and I am ravaged with desire. 'Please, sir. Don't stop.' is what I would beg if I could. I am content to communicate that another way for now.

I struggle to keep up with you and press my strong tongue against the sensitive spot I know will give you pleasure. I am rewarded with a moan and fervently continue.

Suddenly, you pull away leaving me wanting. Quietly I wait as you return and from the side, whisper sweetly in my ear.

"Open."

I feel myself pause and then quickly respond to your demand. You push the ball into my mouth far enough that I can't cheat by unintentionally pushing against it with my tongue. I am compelled to breathe through my nose which automatically forces me to relax. I feel my eyes water as I feel another method of influence removed from me. I am wholly under your control. I feel safe and anxious at the same time.

The first strike on my ass takes my breathe away. And all the thinking going on in my head. I am grateful for your ability to take me out of my head and into the physical space around me. There will be no warmup tonight. You continue and I feel the heat rising to meet your hand. A slight pause allows me to catch my breathe when you start again with the paddle. The sting is searing. To think that I didn't feel that the paddle was big enough to get my attention. My pussy weeps as you strike my thighs. I blush knowing that you can see my desire.

You stop momentarily to stroke my face, brushing the hair from my eyes. You smile and I know I please you.

Your statement, "Good girl", brings another blush from me as I realize that I respond to this. I don't know why but I am more enflamed with your encouraging words. My whole body blushes and shakes in response. I have no secrets from you.

You run your fingernails over the heated flesh of my ass and I moan helplessly. More strikes with the paddle and I am beyond myself. I have no earthly presence except the need between my legs.

I sigh with gratitude when you press you cock against my lips. Feeling you sliding inside me with ease, I am complete.

You pull out and push against my ass. My pussy as provided enough lubrication for you to push inside without difficultly. I strain at my ropes and push against you, forcing more of you inside me. I am ravenous for your cock. 'Please take me", I want to scream. You know what I am saying without words and you pull me against your hips.

Repeated thrusts bring me closer to climax and I feel you swell inside.

"You will not come. You will allow me to pleasure myself with you without coming."

I thrash and protest behind the gag but will not come without your permission. You have amazing stamina and I feel myself straining to prevent an orgasm. You find your voice and announce your completion as I feel it inside me. It takes all I have to not come myself but the enjoyment of feeling yours without mine is immense.

I am whole and complete as the instrument of your pleasure.

I wait for my time, as I know my generous and giving Master will reward me another time for my obedience.

I am patient for you, Sir.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Just a few days....

I'm gone again from my Master for several days. I am longing for him.
• His blush-inspiring glance.
• His gentle touch teasing my nipple while I squirm for a firmer pinch.
• Feeling my pussy weep with need as his mouth possesses me.
• Feeling the emptiness inside me as he caresses and strokes.
• The touch that only he can share that launches me into flying.

Only a couple days (and nights left).
Sir

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Distractions

Sometimes life puts distractions in your way: kids, family, running a business, buying groceries, etc. You name it, it can fill your days up, wear you out and leave you with nothing left for yourself. Or for your other self. The self that secretly craves the thrill of knowing you will be punished for doing something right.

My Master and I have had one such month. And while we both missed the prolonged play sessions we regularly enjoy, life didn't allow for one this month. A quick pinch or nibble here and there seemed to be the most we could manage. Even a short play session seemed unobtainable. Until this morning.

It is a weekday but since we both work from home, we sometimes have the advantage of being able to sleep in a bit longer. A groggy snuggle results in a kiss. I love to feel your cock pressing against my ass in the mornings...the promise of your cock inside me. If I'm lucky.

I wiggle against you and we tussle a bit. Hugging. Kissing. Enjoying each other. You sit up and pull me onto your lap. Your kiss includes a bite on my lower lip. A bite that makes my eyes water and my pussy clench. Still trapped by your teeth, I feel your hand wander onto my bare ass, I sense a change in your body as you consider the possibility.

You quickly turn me over onto your knee, moving me so my ass is exposed. I have missed this. You have missed this. The first few slaps don't connect well but then you find the spots. And your rhythm. I squirm and moan. I have forgotten the intense sting of a repeated spanking. You select a spot and focus a few slaps there. It is almost too much. I yell and kick my feet. And yet, I can feel my pussy dripping onto my thighs. You find another location to push my limits and test me. You reach beneath me, find a nipple and squeeze. Another strike to the same location and I scream. Simultaneously, I wish for you to stop while wanting more. You know this and continue striking the tender spots and making them more so.

Please, please, never stop, sir.

But you do stop. Dragging me out of the bed and to the shower. Resting your foot on the edge, you once again drape me over your knee and continue the spanking. With the addition of water, the sting is intensified. I hold onto you tightly and try to keep still so your hand can find it's target with accuracy. I scream louder and toss my head when I can't contain the energy.

Slipping into my pussy with your fingers, you find what you expect. "You are very wet", you state with smug satisfaction. "Yes, sir", I reply with a blush. Removing your hand, you surprise me and push your fingers inside my ass. I moan as you continue the spanking while teasing me. I can feel the edge of orgasm approaching. With your fingers still my my ass, you pull my pussy onto your cock and we both gasp with relief. We are both close but I am not to come without permission. You consume me and as I start to come apart you command me and, seemingly, yourself. "Come!"

Things are as they should be again.
With the right distractions.
Sir

Monday, March 30, 2009

Slipping...

It's been three weeks since I've been with my Master. This last week was a very intense week as far as work was concerned and I was worn out on a daily basis for 5 days. I was so exhausted by Friday, all I could do all weekend was recover. I was out-of-town and spent the weekend with my father which was good to recharge. However, in speaking with my Master on Sunday night, I realized and mentioned that I hadn't felt very submissive in a week. My last posting was as close as I had gotten in 7 days.

His response was simple. "It has been too long since you felt me."

True. The verbal dominance with his voice is good over the phone but requires more effort on both our parts. iChat is so much better. iChat at least provides some opportunity for me to feel and see his power. His darkening eyes or sly grin instantly has my attention. We didn't have that method to connect last week and I feel myself slipping in my obedience.

I need to smell his skin, feel powerful fingers pulling my nipples, warm breathe tickling my neck next to my collar and the surrender of my whole body to him.

Soon, sir, soon.
Only 7 days.
Meanwhile, I am still yours.
Sir

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Cento...and counting

Here I am on yet another airplane…heading the wrong direction from my Master. With instructions from him to journal my fantasies, I’m grateful to be in first class where the seats are wider and I have more room to shift my laptop to be unreadable to the passenger beside me. The prospect of enduring another week without his touch has my mind conjuring another vision. And causing me to blush. My pussy to dampen.


Finding myself naked before you, my pulse quickens. I am excited and slightly apprehensive. What will you have in store for me? You gently place my collar around my throat. The first moment of it on always has me feeling that it is too tight. I know it is not and trust.

Your dark voice comes close from behind me. ‘You’ve disobeyed me. How shall I correct you?’ Blushing fiercely, I am momentarily at a loss. I finally respond, ‘In whatever way pleases you, sir.’

‘Good answer. Now, over my knee.’

I move quickly to drape myself over you and feel your hardness. I know, hope, that if I please you now, you will reward me. Filling me with your cock. And maybe even letting me come for you.

Your hand stroking my ass brings me back from my reverie. I will pay first.

‘Count. In Italian.’

Gulping hard, I panic. The last time we did this I got stuck on 15, quindici. I lost count about the tenth time we started over. Now I know this word, I’ll never forget it. Will I forget another one?

Smack! The sound ringing in my ears. ‘Uno, Sir.’ ‘Due, Sir’ And on we move through the numbers.

Sometime after dici, you move your hand to my thighs. The place that at first is tolerable but quickly becomes almost more than I can take. We approach the number and a smack is quickly followed by, ‘Quindici, Sir.’

Without pausing, you continue. I rush to find the correct words, knowing that my pronunciation is slipping.

Throughout sessanta-cinque you vary the location of the assault. I feel myself leaking, dripping onto your legs. Now you are focusing on my upper, outer thighs. My watering eyes blur my view of my blonde hair blushing the floor.

Novanta. Thinking ahead, I panic anew. What is the word for 100? I find myself searching for my safe word while simultaneously searching for….cento! There it is!

The heat from my ass is unbelievable. I can barely get the words out. Finally, we are there. And I succeed in getting it out. Only just.

But, you don’t stop. You continue and I work to get out the next. And the next. We continue.

I start to falter at cento-venti-quattro. The words are coming more slowly as I fight to focus. Focus on anything other than the urgent need between my legs.

At cento-trenta-sei, I can’t get the words out. You and my desire devour me.

Quickly you pull me up, push me down on the bed and enter me easily in one quick thrust. Your dark eyes see me and my defeat. I don’t want to disappoint you but I am too close to resist my orgasm. Barely.

Our need is great and you consume me. The orgasm is close and as I feel its beginnings, you give me my command.

‘Come. Come now.’

Release. Complete and utter surrender. You surge into me and your moans roar in my ears. I am destroyed. And renewed.
Possessed. Loved.

Owned.
By you.
Sir.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Trains, Planes, Automobiles and Daydreams

I've been traveling quite a bit lately.
- Trains to Chicago
- Planes to every time zone in the U.S.
- Cars to Milwaukee

I've been everywhere it seems EXCEPT the city where my Master is located. The past two weeks have been tough to manage for us both. At least we have iChat but that isn't enough when my skin craves his touch.

Lately, I've been having erotic daydreams while in transit to another city. The plane ride to Chicago earlier this week found me dreaming of submitting in the most delightful way.
- Wearing my thigh-high stockings, I knee in front of my Master
- I anxiously wait for him to allow me to taste his cock
- I am not restrained by anything other than his words, "Do NOT move your hands from your sides"
- HIs cocks come near my face and I'm allowed to feel the softness against my cheek
- I tentatively reach out with my tongue to feel and taste the excitement leaking from him
- I part my lips and welcome the invasion of his cock
- My tongue presses against the sensitive skin beneath the head
- Savoring his smell, I feel myself becoming wet
- Measuring my breathe, I take more of him into my mouth
- His gasps satisfy my need to please, urging me on my mission
- Fingers tangle and tightly pull my hair, pulling me closer
- My pussy drips with need and I feel my lips getting damp
- Disregarding my aching jaw, I press myself further forward
- My watering eyes glance upwards to see my Master's face
- He smiles, groans and pushes me further
- Fighting my need to gag, I take his large cock deeper into my throat
- My tongue dances and I happily hear louder moans
- HIs strong fingers pull my hair harder making me reel with need
- I am rewarded with his ultimate gift
- As I swallow, he pulls me up and gently kisses me
- We rest on the bed while my need assaults our sense of smell
- I patiently wait for whatever he wants of me next

Yours
For your pleasure
Sir

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Another space...

Flying. Subspace. I read about it 2 years ago. There is little written to describe it other than it is a state of euphoria, ecstasy and pleasure far beyond what is believable. It sounded interesting but I had no idea how to get there since it seemed like a highly personal and individual experience. Some submissives never achieve this state. For others, subspace is instinctive, automatic and they may find themselves entering it with little or no difficulty.

We discovered that I am one of the latter.

The first time would have been more exciting had I not found myself drifting into, what felt like, a different plane of consciousness. I was fully aware but the pain within my body had gone and was replaced with a slight feeling of pressure that was quite pleasurable. I felt disconnected from myself. It felt like an eternity.

Now, I am more "aware" of my environment when flying. I can feel when it is about to happen as can my Master. My whole body relaxes completely and my breathe slows. The first few times had me feeling isolated and "floating" adrift. My experience now is very connected to my Master. He guides me and accompanies me on my journey. He is very satisfied when I fly and I am very happy to receive and give this gift.

Yet another way you possess me.
Sir

Monday, February 23, 2009

A tough transition....

My life is many things. Not the least of which is the tremendous gap that some might see between my corporate and outward persona and my inner submissive. Shortly after my last post, I had to leave my Master for 3.5 weeks. During that time, I traveled for work and had to put on my "Ms. Corporate Kick-Butt" hat. When I returned to my Master, I was fully in that mode and it took a week for me to fully "decompress" from that role 100% of the time.

When we are together daily, I find the transition much easier. I can be running a large conference call one moment and blushing the next after simply a glance from my Master.

Now that I've been back for a couple weeks, I find myself blushing more. And not just my face. I received an awe-inspiring, breathe-catching spanking a few days ago and my pale skin is still marked. I look at the marks in the mirror each morning and feel the love that was shared with each touch of his hand. I felt the marks when I sat down for a day and blushed each time I felt the love there. 

During the spanking, I was a puddle. In more ways than one. His touch while I was being restrained was enough to send me into overdrive. I ached for his touch. I ached for whatever he wanted to do to make me feel his complete power over me. I blushed when he told me that my pussy had given me away in my yearning. I had left a puddle of my desire on the spanking bench before he even started. My body longed to be taken. The choices had been removed from me. I simply had to wait for his wishes to be communicated to me through his touch. 

I waited for years to find my Master. The man to stand up to me and show me he was boss. I don't think I knew how much I needed someone to take control until he found me. 

For someone that is a submissive, it is easy to understand that being in control all the time is tiring. Sharing my power, giving my power to him is the thing I wait for each day. It is liberating to no longer need to call the shots in all things. 

My trust is complete. 
Our love is enduring. 
I belong to you.

Sir

Monday, February 16, 2009

Submissive in the making

A short history of how I got here. I believe that I've been a submissive for years. Waiting impatiently for the Master that deserved me.
• 16 years ago, I left my husband and my first purchase was a four-poster bed. I bought it with the knowledge that I wanted someone to tie me to it and have their "way" with me. While I had a few lovers take me up on using the bed frame the way I wished, I was still in charge. I learned years later that this called "topping from the bottom". It wasn't my plan but my tremendous personality still over-powered my so called captor.
• I initiated a photo shoot with a bi-sexual female friend of mine. The objective was to create a gift of explict images for our respective partners that would excite them. During the shoot, I found myself restrained, spanked and teased while at the mercy of her desires. While I was not terribly excited by her touch (I have experimented with bi-sexually but really need a man's touch), I was VERY excited to have all choices taken from me. It was a very enlightening experience and was an indicator of my burning need for submitting.
• Many years later, as I wished to explore my submissive side, I purchased a paddle and brought it home to my partner. He was horrified that I wanted to be spanked. He never used it and he told me I was sick and needed professional counseling. I was mortified, hid the paddle, and never mentioned it again. Not surprisingly, I completely overwhelmed him with my domineering and overbearing personality. I didn't see it that way. I just got things done. But I needed a break from that role from time to time. He cheated on me and never had the "balls' to tell me, even when I suspected and tried to leave. When I did learn the whole truth, I was gone within weeks and took everything from him.
• By then, I had gotten very clear about what I wanted in a partner. I dated a few men; asked for restraint, begged for spanking and if they weren't comfortable with that, I quickly ended the relationship.
• I made a regular habit of testing and teasing men to see if they had the muster to stand up to me. I didn't do it consciously but did it nonetheless. I was searching.
• Shortly thereafter, I found my soul-mate and Master. He knew from the beginning that I was a submissive. The first time my Master kissed me, he possessed me. I was completely taken aback and overcome. I tried to run away but found myself returning for more. I couldn't stay away. This man knew me. He knew what my soul hungered for. I am grateful for being "seen" for all that I am and belonging to him.

I am yours
Always
Sir

Sunday, January 25, 2009

A start....

I asked my Master to create a blog for me in order to share my submissive experience. Truth be told, I wanted a safe place to journal the feelings that I encountered throughout the submissive events in my life. While I don't intentionally keep my thoughts and feelings to myself, I hope that this will serve as a conduit to further reveal more of myself TO myself and my Master. To be sincerely submissive, I need to expose my strengths and weaknesses along with the things that excite and impassion me. By doing so, I know that my Master and I will realize more rewards of a truly fulfilling life. 

I do not know what I will include here, how often or how it will be organized. I only know that I will share my most inner thoughts and feelings. 

Goodnight Sir