Submissive in the making

A short history of how I got here. I believe that I've been a submissive for years. Waiting impatiently for the Master that deserved me.
• 16 years ago, I left my husband and my first purchase was a four-poster bed. I bought it with the knowledge that I wanted someone to tie me to it and have their "way" with me. While I had a few lovers take me up on using the bed frame the way I wished, I was still in charge. I learned years later that this called "topping from the bottom". It wasn't my plan but my tremendous personality still over-powered my so called captor.
• I initiated a photo shoot with a bi-sexual female friend of mine. The objective was to create a gift of explict images for our respective partners that would excite them. During the shoot, I found myself restrained, spanked and teased while at the mercy of her desires. While I was not terribly excited by her touch (I have experimented with bi-sexually but really need a man's touch), I was VERY excited to have all choices taken from me. It was a very enlightening experience and was an indicator of my burning need for submitting.
• Many years later, as I wished to explore my submissive side, I purchased a paddle and brought it home to my partner. He was horrified that I wanted to be spanked. He never used it and he told me I was sick and needed professional counseling. I was mortified, hid the paddle, and never mentioned it again. Not surprisingly, I completely overwhelmed him with my domineering and overbearing personality. I didn't see it that way. I just got things done. But I needed a break from that role from time to time. He cheated on me and never had the "balls' to tell me, even when I suspected and tried to leave. When I did learn the whole truth, I was gone within weeks and took everything from him.
• By then, I had gotten very clear about what I wanted in a partner. I dated a few men; asked for restraint, begged for spanking and if they weren't comfortable with that, I quickly ended the relationship.
• I made a regular habit of testing and teasing men to see if they had the muster to stand up to me. I didn't do it consciously but did it nonetheless. I was searching.
• Shortly thereafter, I found my soul-mate and Master. He knew from the beginning that I was a submissive. The first time my Master kissed me, he possessed me. I was completely taken aback and overcome. I tried to run away but found myself returning for more. I couldn't stay away. This man knew me. He knew what my soul hungered for. I am grateful for being "seen" for all that I am and belonging to him.

I am yours
Always
Sir