It's been three weeks since I've been with my Master. This last week was a very intense week as far as work was concerned and I was worn out on a daily basis for 5 days. I was so exhausted by Friday, all I could do all weekend was recover. I was out-of-town and spent the weekend with my father which was good to recharge. However, in speaking with my Master on Sunday night, I realized and mentioned that I hadn't felt very submissive in a week. My last posting was as close as I had gotten in 7 days.
His response was simple. "It has been too long since you felt me."
True. The verbal dominance with his voice is good over the phone but requires more effort on both our parts. iChat is so much better. iChat at least provides some opportunity for me to feel and see his power. His darkening eyes or sly grin instantly has my attention. We didn't have that method to connect last week and I feel myself slipping in my obedience.
I need to smell his skin, feel powerful fingers pulling my nipples, warm breathe tickling my neck next to my collar and the surrender of my whole body to him.
Soon, sir, soon.
Only 7 days.
Meanwhile, I am still yours.
Sir
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Cento...and counting
Here I am on yet another airplane…heading the wrong direction from my Master. With instructions from him to journal my fantasies, I’m grateful to be in first class where the seats are wider and I have more room to shift my laptop to be unreadable to the passenger beside me. The prospect of enduring another week without his touch has my mind conjuring another vision. And causing me to blush. My pussy to dampen.
Finding myself naked before you, my pulse quickens. I am excited and slightly apprehensive. What will you have in store for me? You gently place my collar around my throat. The first moment of it on always has me feeling that it is too tight. I know it is not and trust.
Your dark voice comes close from behind me. ‘You’ve disobeyed me. How shall I correct you?’ Blushing fiercely, I am momentarily at a loss. I finally respond, ‘In whatever way pleases you, sir.’
‘Good answer. Now, over my knee.’
I move quickly to drape myself over you and feel your hardness. I know, hope, that if I please you now, you will reward me. Filling me with your cock. And maybe even letting me come for you.
Your hand stroking my ass brings me back from my reverie. I will pay first.
‘Count. In Italian.’
Gulping hard, I panic. The last time we did this I got stuck on 15, quindici. I lost count about the tenth time we started over. Now I know this word, I’ll never forget it. Will I forget another one?
Smack! The sound ringing in my ears. ‘Uno, Sir.’ ‘Due, Sir’ And on we move through the numbers.
Sometime after dici, you move your hand to my thighs. The place that at first is tolerable but quickly becomes almost more than I can take. We approach the number and a smack is quickly followed by, ‘Quindici, Sir.’
Without pausing, you continue. I rush to find the correct words, knowing that my pronunciation is slipping.
Throughout sessanta-cinque you vary the location of the assault. I feel myself leaking, dripping onto your legs. Now you are focusing on my upper, outer thighs. My watering eyes blur my view of my blonde hair blushing the floor.
Novanta. Thinking ahead, I panic anew. What is the word for 100? I find myself searching for my safe word while simultaneously searching for….cento! There it is!
The heat from my ass is unbelievable. I can barely get the words out. Finally, we are there. And I succeed in getting it out. Only just.
But, you don’t stop. You continue and I work to get out the next. And the next. We continue.
I start to falter at cento-venti-quattro. The words are coming more slowly as I fight to focus. Focus on anything other than the urgent need between my legs.
At cento-trenta-sei, I can’t get the words out. You and my desire devour me.
Quickly you pull me up, push me down on the bed and enter me easily in one quick thrust. Your dark eyes see me and my defeat. I don’t want to disappoint you but I am too close to resist my orgasm. Barely.
Our need is great and you consume me. The orgasm is close and as I feel its beginnings, you give me my command.
‘Come. Come now.’
Release. Complete and utter surrender. You surge into me and your moans roar in my ears. I am destroyed. And renewed.
Possessed. Loved.
Owned.
By you.
Sir.
Finding myself naked before you, my pulse quickens. I am excited and slightly apprehensive. What will you have in store for me? You gently place my collar around my throat. The first moment of it on always has me feeling that it is too tight. I know it is not and trust.
Your dark voice comes close from behind me. ‘You’ve disobeyed me. How shall I correct you?’ Blushing fiercely, I am momentarily at a loss. I finally respond, ‘In whatever way pleases you, sir.’
‘Good answer. Now, over my knee.’
I move quickly to drape myself over you and feel your hardness. I know, hope, that if I please you now, you will reward me. Filling me with your cock. And maybe even letting me come for you.
Your hand stroking my ass brings me back from my reverie. I will pay first.
‘Count. In Italian.’
Gulping hard, I panic. The last time we did this I got stuck on 15, quindici. I lost count about the tenth time we started over. Now I know this word, I’ll never forget it. Will I forget another one?
Smack! The sound ringing in my ears. ‘Uno, Sir.’ ‘Due, Sir’ And on we move through the numbers.
Sometime after dici, you move your hand to my thighs. The place that at first is tolerable but quickly becomes almost more than I can take. We approach the number and a smack is quickly followed by, ‘Quindici, Sir.’
Without pausing, you continue. I rush to find the correct words, knowing that my pronunciation is slipping.
Throughout sessanta-cinque you vary the location of the assault. I feel myself leaking, dripping onto your legs. Now you are focusing on my upper, outer thighs. My watering eyes blur my view of my blonde hair blushing the floor.
Novanta. Thinking ahead, I panic anew. What is the word for 100? I find myself searching for my safe word while simultaneously searching for….cento! There it is!
The heat from my ass is unbelievable. I can barely get the words out. Finally, we are there. And I succeed in getting it out. Only just.
But, you don’t stop. You continue and I work to get out the next. And the next. We continue.
I start to falter at cento-venti-quattro. The words are coming more slowly as I fight to focus. Focus on anything other than the urgent need between my legs.
At cento-trenta-sei, I can’t get the words out. You and my desire devour me.
Quickly you pull me up, push me down on the bed and enter me easily in one quick thrust. Your dark eyes see me and my defeat. I don’t want to disappoint you but I am too close to resist my orgasm. Barely.
Our need is great and you consume me. The orgasm is close and as I feel its beginnings, you give me my command.
‘Come. Come now.’
Release. Complete and utter surrender. You surge into me and your moans roar in my ears. I am destroyed. And renewed.
Possessed. Loved.
Owned.
By you.
Sir.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Trains, Planes, Automobiles and Daydreams
I've been traveling quite a bit lately.
- Trains to Chicago
- Planes to every time zone in the U.S.
- Cars to Milwaukee
I've been everywhere it seems EXCEPT the city where my Master is located. The past two weeks have been tough to manage for us both. At least we have iChat but that isn't enough when my skin craves his touch.
Lately, I've been having erotic daydreams while in transit to another city. The plane ride to Chicago earlier this week found me dreaming of submitting in the most delightful way.
- Wearing my thigh-high stockings, I knee in front of my Master
- I anxiously wait for him to allow me to taste his cock
- I am not restrained by anything other than his words, "Do NOT move your hands from your sides"
- HIs cocks come near my face and I'm allowed to feel the softness against my cheek
- I tentatively reach out with my tongue to feel and taste the excitement leaking from him
- I part my lips and welcome the invasion of his cock
- My tongue presses against the sensitive skin beneath the head
- Savoring his smell, I feel myself becoming wet
- Measuring my breathe, I take more of him into my mouth
- His gasps satisfy my need to please, urging me on my mission
- Fingers tangle and tightly pull my hair, pulling me closer
- My pussy drips with need and I feel my lips getting damp
- Disregarding my aching jaw, I press myself further forward
- My watering eyes glance upwards to see my Master's face
- He smiles, groans and pushes me further
- Fighting my need to gag, I take his large cock deeper into my throat
- My tongue dances and I happily hear louder moans
- HIs strong fingers pull my hair harder making me reel with need
- I am rewarded with his ultimate gift
- As I swallow, he pulls me up and gently kisses me
- We rest on the bed while my need assaults our sense of smell
- I patiently wait for whatever he wants of me next
Yours
For your pleasure
Sir
- Trains to Chicago
- Planes to every time zone in the U.S.
- Cars to Milwaukee
I've been everywhere it seems EXCEPT the city where my Master is located. The past two weeks have been tough to manage for us both. At least we have iChat but that isn't enough when my skin craves his touch.
Lately, I've been having erotic daydreams while in transit to another city. The plane ride to Chicago earlier this week found me dreaming of submitting in the most delightful way.
- Wearing my thigh-high stockings, I knee in front of my Master
- I anxiously wait for him to allow me to taste his cock
- I am not restrained by anything other than his words, "Do NOT move your hands from your sides"
- HIs cocks come near my face and I'm allowed to feel the softness against my cheek
- I tentatively reach out with my tongue to feel and taste the excitement leaking from him
- I part my lips and welcome the invasion of his cock
- My tongue presses against the sensitive skin beneath the head
- Savoring his smell, I feel myself becoming wet
- Measuring my breathe, I take more of him into my mouth
- His gasps satisfy my need to please, urging me on my mission
- Fingers tangle and tightly pull my hair, pulling me closer
- My pussy drips with need and I feel my lips getting damp
- Disregarding my aching jaw, I press myself further forward
- My watering eyes glance upwards to see my Master's face
- He smiles, groans and pushes me further
- Fighting my need to gag, I take his large cock deeper into my throat
- My tongue dances and I happily hear louder moans
- HIs strong fingers pull my hair harder making me reel with need
- I am rewarded with his ultimate gift
- As I swallow, he pulls me up and gently kisses me
- We rest on the bed while my need assaults our sense of smell
- I patiently wait for whatever he wants of me next
Yours
For your pleasure
Sir
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Another space...
Flying. Subspace. I read about it 2 years ago. There is little written to describe it other than it is a state of euphoria, ecstasy and pleasure far beyond what is believable. It sounded interesting but I had no idea how to get there since it seemed like a highly personal and individual experience. Some submissives never achieve this state. For others, subspace is instinctive, automatic and they may find themselves entering it with little or no difficulty.
We discovered that I am one of the latter.
The first time would have been more exciting had I not found myself drifting into, what felt like, a different plane of consciousness. I was fully aware but the pain within my body had gone and was replaced with a slight feeling of pressure that was quite pleasurable. I felt disconnected from myself. It felt like an eternity.
Now, I am more "aware" of my environment when flying. I can feel when it is about to happen as can my Master. My whole body relaxes completely and my breathe slows. The first few times had me feeling isolated and "floating" adrift. My experience now is very connected to my Master. He guides me and accompanies me on my journey. He is very satisfied when I fly and I am very happy to receive and give this gift.
Yet another way you possess me.
Sir
We discovered that I am one of the latter.
The first time would have been more exciting had I not found myself drifting into, what felt like, a different plane of consciousness. I was fully aware but the pain within my body had gone and was replaced with a slight feeling of pressure that was quite pleasurable. I felt disconnected from myself. It felt like an eternity.
Now, I am more "aware" of my environment when flying. I can feel when it is about to happen as can my Master. My whole body relaxes completely and my breathe slows. The first few times had me feeling isolated and "floating" adrift. My experience now is very connected to my Master. He guides me and accompanies me on my journey. He is very satisfied when I fly and I am very happy to receive and give this gift.
Yet another way you possess me.
Sir
Monday, February 23, 2009
A tough transition....
My life is many things. Not the least of which is the tremendous gap that some might see between my corporate and outward persona and my inner submissive. Shortly after my last post, I had to leave my Master for 3.5 weeks. During that time, I traveled for work and had to put on my "Ms. Corporate Kick-Butt" hat. When I returned to my Master, I was fully in that mode and it took a week for me to fully "decompress" from that role 100% of the time.
When we are together daily, I find the transition much easier. I can be running a large conference call one moment and blushing the next after simply a glance from my Master.
Now that I've been back for a couple weeks, I find myself blushing more. And not just my face. I received an awe-inspiring, breathe-catching spanking a few days ago and my pale skin is still marked. I look at the marks in the mirror each morning and feel the love that was shared with each touch of his hand. I felt the marks when I sat down for a day and blushed each time I felt the love there.
Sir
When we are together daily, I find the transition much easier. I can be running a large conference call one moment and blushing the next after simply a glance from my Master.
Now that I've been back for a couple weeks, I find myself blushing more. And not just my face. I received an awe-inspiring, breathe-catching spanking a few days ago and my pale skin is still marked. I look at the marks in the mirror each morning and feel the love that was shared with each touch of his hand. I felt the marks when I sat down for a day and blushed each time I felt the love there.
During the spanking, I was a puddle. In more ways than one. His touch while I was being restrained was enough to send me into overdrive. I ached for his touch. I ached for whatever he wanted to do to make me feel his complete power over me. I blushed when he told me that my pussy had given me away in my yearning. I had left a puddle of my desire on the spanking bench before he even started. My body longed to be taken. The choices had been removed from me. I simply had to wait for his wishes to be communicated to me through his touch.
I waited for years to find my Master. The man to stand up to me and show me he was boss. I don't think I knew how much I needed someone to take control until he found me.
For someone that is a submissive, it is easy to understand that being in control all the time is tiring. Sharing my power, giving my power to him is the thing I wait for each day. It is liberating to no longer need to call the shots in all things.
My trust is complete.
Our love is enduring.
I belong to you.
Sir
Monday, February 16, 2009
Submissive in the making
A short history of how I got here. I believe that I've been a submissive for years. Waiting impatiently for the Master that deserved me.
• 16 years ago, I left my husband and my first purchase was a four-poster bed. I bought it with the knowledge that I wanted someone to tie me to it and have their "way" with me. While I had a few lovers take me up on using the bed frame the way I wished, I was still in charge. I learned years later that this called "topping from the bottom". It wasn't my plan but my tremendous personality still over-powered my so called captor.
• I initiated a photo shoot with a bi-sexual female friend of mine. The objective was to create a gift of explict images for our respective partners that would excite them. During the shoot, I found myself restrained, spanked and teased while at the mercy of her desires. While I was not terribly excited by her touch (I have experimented with bi-sexually but really need a man's touch), I was VERY excited to have all choices taken from me. It was a very enlightening experience and was an indicator of my burning need for submitting.
• Many years later, as I wished to explore my submissive side, I purchased a paddle and brought it home to my partner. He was horrified that I wanted to be spanked. He never used it and he told me I was sick and needed professional counseling. I was mortified, hid the paddle, and never mentioned it again. Not surprisingly, I completely overwhelmed him with my domineering and overbearing personality. I didn't see it that way. I just got things done. But I needed a break from that role from time to time. He cheated on me and never had the "balls' to tell me, even when I suspected and tried to leave. When I did learn the whole truth, I was gone within weeks and took everything from him.
• By then, I had gotten very clear about what I wanted in a partner. I dated a few men; asked for restraint, begged for spanking and if they weren't comfortable with that, I quickly ended the relationship.
• I made a regular habit of testing and teasing men to see if they had the muster to stand up to me. I didn't do it consciously but did it nonetheless. I was searching.
• Shortly thereafter, I found my soul-mate and Master. He knew from the beginning that I was a submissive. The first time my Master kissed me, he possessed me. I was completely taken aback and overcome. I tried to run away but found myself returning for more. I couldn't stay away. This man knew me. He knew what my soul hungered for. I am grateful for being "seen" for all that I am and belonging to him.
I am yours
Always
Sir
• 16 years ago, I left my husband and my first purchase was a four-poster bed. I bought it with the knowledge that I wanted someone to tie me to it and have their "way" with me. While I had a few lovers take me up on using the bed frame the way I wished, I was still in charge. I learned years later that this called "topping from the bottom". It wasn't my plan but my tremendous personality still over-powered my so called captor.
• I initiated a photo shoot with a bi-sexual female friend of mine. The objective was to create a gift of explict images for our respective partners that would excite them. During the shoot, I found myself restrained, spanked and teased while at the mercy of her desires. While I was not terribly excited by her touch (I have experimented with bi-sexually but really need a man's touch), I was VERY excited to have all choices taken from me. It was a very enlightening experience and was an indicator of my burning need for submitting.
• Many years later, as I wished to explore my submissive side, I purchased a paddle and brought it home to my partner. He was horrified that I wanted to be spanked. He never used it and he told me I was sick and needed professional counseling. I was mortified, hid the paddle, and never mentioned it again. Not surprisingly, I completely overwhelmed him with my domineering and overbearing personality. I didn't see it that way. I just got things done. But I needed a break from that role from time to time. He cheated on me and never had the "balls' to tell me, even when I suspected and tried to leave. When I did learn the whole truth, I was gone within weeks and took everything from him.
• By then, I had gotten very clear about what I wanted in a partner. I dated a few men; asked for restraint, begged for spanking and if they weren't comfortable with that, I quickly ended the relationship.
• I made a regular habit of testing and teasing men to see if they had the muster to stand up to me. I didn't do it consciously but did it nonetheless. I was searching.
• Shortly thereafter, I found my soul-mate and Master. He knew from the beginning that I was a submissive. The first time my Master kissed me, he possessed me. I was completely taken aback and overcome. I tried to run away but found myself returning for more. I couldn't stay away. This man knew me. He knew what my soul hungered for. I am grateful for being "seen" for all that I am and belonging to him.
I am yours
Always
Sir
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A start....
I asked my Master to create a blog for me in order to share my submissive experience. Truth be told, I wanted a safe place to journal the feelings that I encountered throughout the submissive events in my life. While I don't intentionally keep my thoughts and feelings to myself, I hope that this will serve as a conduit to further reveal more of myself TO myself and my Master. To be sincerely submissive, I need to expose my strengths and weaknesses along with the things that excite and impassion me. By doing so, I know that my Master and I will realize more rewards of a truly fulfilling life.
I do not know what I will include here, how often or how it will be organized. I only know that I will share my most inner thoughts and feelings.
Goodnight Sir
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